Hey Brother
by Admiral Daala
Summary: A loss can hurt so much


_How many times before have I been there for my men when they have lost someone close to them? Will anyone be there for me now that I lost someone so very close to me? Who will help me get through this? How do I get through this one? _

Alone, so very alone in his quarters Rex felt the cold and ugly blanket of loss drape across his back, the feeling of a thousand weights pressing against him. His guilt, his dread, his pain suffocated him and he gasped for a breath. Falling to the floor on all fours, Rex gulped voraciously for a much needed breath. Little black spots formed in front of his eyes causing him to squeeze them shut. Instead of relief from the spots, images of Fives appeared in front of him.

_Rex cradled his friend in his arms, slightly rocking back and forth; letting the unbelief encompass him. He didn't care that his general and a handful of soldiers watched as the strong Captain Rex fall a part in front of them. _

_At some point Rex felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his anguished eyes to face his general. "Come on Rex." How could his general pull him away? How could this even be happening? How could Fives be dead? He didn't know how he did it, but Rex found himself putting Fives gently down on the ground and slowly stood up on wobbly legs. He stared down at his friend, wishing, urging, almost convincing himself that Fives was just unconscious and would get up at any minute. _

_I'm sorry Fives. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry I didn't defend you. I'm sorry brother…_

His arms and legs collapsed under from him causing Rex to fall onto his stomach with a grunt. Breathing in and out heavily through his nose, Rex slowly opened his eyes letting the dreadful images of Fives dead body dissolve. He lay there for a few minutes, finally able to get his breathing under control and with every ounce of strength he pushed himself off the steel floor and sat at the end of his bed with his knees pressed up against his chest and arms wrapped around them. He felt so…so…

_Alone. There are a million copies of me and yet I feel so alone._

A new sensation began to take control of Rex. He was accustomed to feeling anger, sorrow and sympathy towards his brothers when they had a loss, it was what he was supposed to do and then go on with his duties. He was the one who set the example of what a clone captain was supposed to do. But he wasn't just a clone, he was also a human; a human that was unaccustomed and untrained to having the want to cry and grieve.

Rex remembered when Fives had lost Echo and how devastated the young soldier was. Rex had witnessed Fives shedding tears for Echo and didn't quite understand how he could cry for Echo, but not for others.

It was different. Echo's loss for Fives was different and Rex finally understood. He had watch Fives grow into the strong, fierce leader that eventually led him to becoming an ARC. Rex realized he had the privilege to take Fives under his watchful leadership and be a part of the commando's transformation. He had the honor to serve and fight with him. And he had the pleasure to call him Fives his friend, a blood brother.

He first felt the wetness as it splashed on his hand and looked astonishingly at the mark it left. Rex swiped at his face as the tears rolled and tried to hold them in, but to no avail. The loss hurt so much and even the resilient man that he was, the ache became too much and relented to the new and unfamiliar emotion. He let the tears fall, and fall and fall.

_Fives, brother…_

After some time the tears seemed to dry up and Rex felt hollow and empty. Giving out a long, sorrowful sigh, Rex rubbed his swollen eyes and managed to find his feet and get up. He walked over to the sink, turning on the water and just listened for a minute to the running liquid. He gazed at himself in the mirror examining his pitiful state. Eyes swollen, red and exhausted he could visibly see the crows feet that had engraved themselves at the corner of his eyes and mouth. Just one more war inflicted reminder of what the toll of loss and battle has done to him.

He pulled some of the cool water into his hands and splashed it onto his weary face. Bracing his hands against the sides of the sink, Rex watched the water swirl down the porcelain bowl.

"_All I ever meant to...I only wanted to do my duty...Brother...The mission...the nightmares...they're finally...over..._"

Rex closed his eyes once again as Fives' last words replayed in his head.

"_I only wanted to do my duty…Brother…"_

Rex turned the faucet off and dried his face, letting the coolness brush against his hot skin for a moment. He slowly gathered his gear up and put his helmet on effectively hiding any evidence of mourning Fives. Fives would want him to be strong and Rex knew he would have to go on. He had to go on, go back out to the fight. Though his grief, sorrow and guilt would always pain him, the love, strength, honor and respect for his brother would keep him going.

"You did good kid, really good."

* * *

I was so upset when I saw the episode of Fives dying. He was my favorite. I really think Rex and Fives were close though it may have not been shown on the show itself, they respected, honored and loved each other as brothers could.

In January I acutally lost my brother. So this is a little tribute to him. May you find peace and happiness. Sleep well my brother.

Hope you all like it.


End file.
